Love! So simple and complicated at the same time. We can see it as the most magical and pure thing that we will feel in our life, but it also brings us a headache from time to time. Without going any further, this strong feeling also has enemies that will try to destroy it, like life itself. We list the most frequent ones:

Self-centeredness

You, and you, and you, and only you. Does it sound familiar? Well no, it is not only a song by Pablo Alboran, it is also a reality that becomes a problem when we refer to a relationship. Because pretending that the world revolves around oneself will only lead to fatigue on the part of the other person. We all want to have a certain attention and care, but when we are in a relationship we must try to receive in a similar measure to what we give. 

The lies

It starts with little lies, and ends with big deceptions that cause all credibility in a relationship to be lost. The most important thing to have a healthy and lasting relationship is trust, honesty and truth. Any concept that deviates from these ideas will only provoke negative reactions for the relationship.

Not knowing how to ask for forgiveness

Nobody is perfect, and all of us at some time in our life have had to rectify and apologize for our mistakes. Although it may seem impossible to believe, there are people in a relationship who have never heard an “I’m sorry” from their partner. But not forgiving will only fill us with anger, resentment, and sadness.

The dependence

We have already told you on other occasions about how insane dependence is in a relationship. But within this ranking, we couldn’t stop naming her again. Be very careful not to confuse love with dependence. No one should depend on anyone other than himself, and for this, self-confidence and having a high self-esteem are essential pillars, that is, loving ourselves first to be able to love someone else later.

Abuse

Abuse in a relationship is not always visible. Even for the victim there are signs that go unnoticed. Physical abuse is openly shown through physical violence with beatings, injuries and, in the most serious cases, even death. But there is also emotional abuse, which includes threats and humiliation.

The latter is, in many cases, even worse than physical abuse. But since it is not visible, it is more difficult to identify, even for the victim who is suffering from it. It is precisely this that abusers “feed” on: ridicule and humiliation so that the victim questions their own reality.

We are currently experiencing a social movement, feminism, with a strong demonstration against abuse and violence, both physical and emotional. For many years there was only physical abuse in the eyes of the people, but today many signs of abuse are identified before reaching the blow. 

One of the biggest problems when identifying emotional abuse is that in our culture, many of the expressions of abuse are understood as “habitual situations”, and it is not known where the line exists that separates what is “habitual” from what is known as “abuse”. We must fight so that this line is perfectly delimited, so that many of the situations that occur today change, and the cases of abuse that we see on the news, read in the newspapers or hear on the radio are less and less.

Ghost Lovers: Ghosting. From my own experience, irreparable damage

Lately, social networks mark our way of behaving and relating to others. The use of dating apps is more common than smiling and approaching to chat with whoever has caught your attention while having a coffee or a drink.

Even to make friends, today it is so complex to meet people as we used to, simply talking face to face, meeting in bars, gyms or on the street, now it is almost impossible to find a group of people or a couple without going to a website, a forum or an application.

But what happens when you think you’ve found it, spend a great few weeks or months together, and all of a sudden, it disappears?

Everything was going well, we are totally convinced, but he no longer answers, he has blocked you and you cannot find that person anymore. Has the earth swallowed it up? No, friends, he has become a ghost. Ghosting, as it is currently called, yes, we are all very cool with the terms.

It consists of suddenly leaving the relationship with a person, and disappearing from their life without a trace, instead of sitting down to talk and at least say goodbye. The person who suffers this, feels an emptiness, an inexplicable feeling of rejection and abandonment that takes time to heal, because they do not know if the abandonment hurts more, or the fact of not knowing why it has happened.

It is tremendously cruel for those who suffer from it, it can even generate fear or trauma in their subsequent relationships.

Sometimes I wonder if the person who does it feels relief, fear or remorse and I ask you: Why do you think this type of situation occurs more and more frequently? I tell you what I believe: because it is more and more scary to love someone and to commit oneself and before recognizing it, it is easier to flee even if it is like that, pretending to be a ghost. Or wait, were they already so since they wrote behind the screen ? Come and think, that like few things in this life, it is free.